I’ve got my Brazilian temporary visa – “12 months”. Let the travel writing, screenwriting and novel writing begin.

“Twelve-month student visa,” for “Brazil,” says my Australian passport. No more tourist visa – at least for twelve months.

“Six months in, six months out,” I once said. I kept “legal” but I wanted the change.

“15 to 30 days’ wait for your national police record check,” said the federal policewoman.

You’ve got to be kidding?

The policewoman stayed firm. “It could be closer to thirty days. Your record check requires a fingerprint.”

I wasn’t sure if this was true. I called the Brazilian consulate. “Courses under three months don’t need the record check at all. Your course is four. You need the check and with the fingerprints.”

I paid 99 dollars for national police check. I gave my credit card details on the hardcopy application.

Down at the local cop shop I was informed, “You’ll need hardcopy prints. We can’t give them to you.”

Well, how the hell can…